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I don't think Adam Sandler (star of Click) has ever created a movie without a horny dog. Really, I think all of his movies have a horny dog somewhere. That pretty much sums up Click, a movie about a dog humping a duck. But hey--if that's what you like, don't let me stop you! The movie tells the story of Michael Newman (Adam Sandler), who fits the classic Hollywood archetype of "overworking-no-time-for-your-kids-big-money-nyc-dad." He takes a trip to a Bed, Bath, and Beyond in search of a universal remote. (Of course, everyone goes to a store that sells bedding for a remote.) Anyway, he stumbles upon the "BEYOND" section, where Christopher Walken presents him with the latest product: a universal remote. The movie, in my opinion, was good for the next half-hour or so, but it quickly became a disappointment. It was cool, but sort of silly.

Actually, it was quite fun to watch. Judging from an entertainment point of view, it was a good movie. It just didn't deliver the laughs and plot I was hoping for. It's not exactly a movie where you can root for the character. What I really didn't like about the movie was the absolutely cliché ending. Honestly, once you see the end of this movie, you will go buy a gun and shoot the writer. I'll just give ya one word of advice: don't take Adam seriously.

But really, it's a very cool concept and it was eye candy to see Kate Beckinsale frozen with her arm in the air. Lots of dads will also enjoy the whole "skip a fight" idea that the movie seems to really overkill. I found that a lot of the jokes weren't funny because they had already been shown in the trailer. I always knew what was coming, and I even heard people say "Oh! I love this part!" Um... HELLO! You haven't even seen the movie!

Gosh.

Well... it's official. Camp is in four days. Gosh! I remember the last day when my parents came to drive me away from my real home. Apparently, a lot of days have gone by really quickly. Well, in only 96 hours, I will be top of the food chain in my Berkshire heaven. And by the way, feel free to write to me! Just IM me for the info.

I have a few things on my mind today. One of them happens to be rather odd, while the other is just over-the-top random. But honestly--it was this or packing and labeling the walk-in closet-full of clothes.

First off, I've been trying to figure out why some people drink decaf coffee. Honestly, I don't get it at all. What's the point of drinking a fuel without the fuel? The whole point of drinking coffee is to get some energy for the 90% of Americans who get close to no sleep! Why do you think the Sealy mattress people always have to drink coffee? It's because they have to avoid falling asleep on the mattresses. Drinking coffee that is decaffeinated would be like wearing an invisible hat inside. People only wear hats indoors because of aesthetics--they want to look good. If the hat was invisible, what would be the point of wearing it? Or it would be like...

• Exercising while eating a BigMac.
• Waving to a blind person.
• Skipping dessert at the Cheesecake Factory.
• Ordering a BLT at a deli, but substituting turkey for the bacon, mustard for the lettuce, and pickles for the tomato.
• Going to a beach resort to play PingPong. (And believe me, this happens.)

The other thing I'd like to share with the unfortunate readers of my ever-so-exciting blog is part of our family secret. As you may or may not know, our family somehow considers itself a restaurant critique service. In fact, one of my siblings works for the top Food Critic company in the US! Each time we enter a restaurant, my parents and I are looking for any signs of a rotten restaurant. My mother, for example, seems to always think that when no tables have food on them, it's a bad sign. I'm not one to follow this pattern, but it usually forces us out of the restaurant. Today, I bring you part 1 of like 100, the BREAD SIGN:

The first thing you look for is whether or not other tables have bread or a similar starter (such as pickles at a deli). If you see bread, that's a good sign--the place makes an effort. Now, the delivery is always important. Some places have a bread lady or man whose only job is to deliver the bread. Normally, though, you'll get the bread from your waiter either while you are deciding or after you've ordered. Check to see what type of basket/container it is in. Does it fit the theme of the restaurant? Are the colors representative of the food type? Then, check what kind of bread you've got. If it's warm, that's a good sign. Temperature control is really important. Look to see if you have a napkin that falls over the top to keep the bread warm. If it isn't even warm, that's a terrible sign. Check the bread for spices and balance of salt or fluffiness. Is the crust tough? Are all pieces baked consistently? Also, at this point, try to figure out if the bread was cooked at the restaurant or at a local bakery. You'll be surprised. The next biggest thing to check for is the accompanying topping. If the restaurant has given you pre-packaged butter "patties," that is a horrible sign. If, however, they give you some sort of homemade spread of expensive oil, that's a good sign. Max-A-Mia is a great example because they often serve (warm) bread with rotating oils, spreads, and tomato toppings. Sun-dried tomato is always nice to have in the spread. Sometimes, such as at First and Last Tavern, the bread is assorted. Whatever the bread may look, feel, taste like, it's almost always an excellent representation of the priorities and qualities of a restaurant. A restaurant with good priorities knows that the bread can make or break a visit. That, readers, is one of the Zweig secrets.

I spent last night with my ex-girlfriend and her friends, and we saw The Lake House starring Sandra Bullock and Keanu Reeves. I had a hard time picturing Keanu as a senstive lover when I know him for more grossing films like The Matrix Trilogy. Anyway, the movie is some fom of a logical brain-teaser gone bad:

An independent-minded doctor (Sandra Bullock) who once occupied an unusual lakeside home begins exchanging love letters with its newest resident, a frustrated architect (Keanu Reeves). When they discover that they're actually living two years apart, they must try to unravel the mystery behind their extraordinary romance before it's too late.

I spent a large majority of the time identifying the overwhelming number of logic "twists" that didn't make sense. You'll see what I mean. A word of advice: don't see a romance flick with a ex.

It's not so pretty.

Movie Grade: B

This is just something sad that I pick up on. (Only me, of course.)

May 31, 2003: Rumors circle the internet of Pixar's latest "Untitled Rodent Film." Greg's Previews says the movie tells the story of a rat living under an upscale French restaurant. Comes out 6/29/07... Trailer

August 26, 2004: Rumors circle the internet of Aardman's (the ones famous for Wallace and Grommit and Chicken Run) latest project called Flushed Away: the story of a rat flushed down a toilet from his upscale apartment who goes to live in an underground city. Comes out 11/3/06... Trailer

Right now: Both studios release trailers. Aardman's film is being distributed by DreamWorks. It's sort of a CGI/clay-looking film. Ratatouille is a traditional Pixar-looking film.

Coincidence? I think not. Gosh! It's so funny how original we all are. DreamWorks has discovered that the way to go is CGI. Maybe they can top Shrek...

Pixar's next project: Toy Story 3.

I don't like finals. Really: I don't. So, I decided to figure out ways to procrostinate. Hence: I arrived at the picture that has inspired this blog. It's called Together.